I get all the other references for penis, like "shaft" or "joystick", but I never understood why it was called "cock" until I went down on my boyfriend one day. Afterwards, he stood up naked while I was still sitting on his futon. I looked up to talk to him, but instead I figured out why the euphemism for penis is a rooster.
My boyfriend loves pads. When ever he sees them he calls them pillows and proceeds to chuck handfuls of them at me and yell "pillow fight". He also likes to make a big pile out of them and roll around in them. He is 19.
I should start this story by mentioning the fact i've been growing an epic beard for several months now. At a party the other day a girl tells me how she likes my beard because it reminds her of her dad. We ended up hooking up that night.
My girlfriend threatened to break up with me if I ruined the ending of the last 'Harry Potter' movie.
After reading the latest two "Dating, It's complicated", me and my girlfriend are broken hearted that more people engage in furious licking attacks. We don't feel special anymore. Damn you, CollegeHumor.
Whenever I find a piece of my girlfriends hair on her clothes somewhere, I show her and say "Look, a piece of you!" She then grabs it, throws it into the air with a flourish and shouts "You're free!"
I lost my virginity watching Blades of Glory
My boyfriend recently decided that "our song" was Shawn Michael's theme from WWE. He likes to sing along to it.
Any time my girlfriend and I get into a fight, we relieve the tension by yelling, "You are tearing me apart, Lisa!" Thank you, Tommy Wiseau, for making arguments outrageously silly.
One day, while going at it with my boyfriend with him on top, he finished and I felt something strange, warm, and wet on my forehead followed by a slurping sound from him. Yes, he drooled right on me in the moment of climax. Worst part? His immediate explanation that "usually it lands in your hair so I never mention it." Still going strong!
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