King Solomon: Hmmm Then we shall cut this baby in half!
Both Mothers: What? No!
King Solomon: Aha! Clearly you are the real mother!
Both Mothers: Both of us?
King Solomon: Wait, no. Whichever one of you was against cutting the baby up. You're the real mother.
Mother 1: No, that was just that was a bad idea. It's not like we were unsure of fractions. No one is advocating cut babies.
Guard Yeah. I didn't like it either. Am I the real mother then?
King Solomon: I guess. So, what am I slicing here now, baby-thirds? I can do that.
Mother 2: I think you're missing the point-
King Solomon: Silence wench!
Daughter of Pharaoh: Oh, a baby in a basket of reeds. I shall raise him as my own and name him Moses!
Friend: Man, I sure hope this baby doesn't ruin our nation.
Daughter of Pharaoh: What?
Friend: Like, I don't want this baby to grow up to be some sort of evil warlock who brings plague after plague on our country. I mean, that would be the worst.
Daughter of Pharaoh: Yeah, That would suck. Ha. The moral of that story would be "Hey, don't save babies."
Friend: But no, I'm sure Moses will be a hero to the Egyptian people. It's only fair Karmatically speaking.
Daughter of Pharaoh: Yeah. I mean, seriously? After saving his life and raising him like royalty? There's no way he would turn on us.
Friend: Good point. I mean, he'd have to be the biggest asshole in history to do something like that.
Joseph: So he's the son of God, right? Which is, uh, how you got pregnant as a vir-
Mary: Yup! It's a wonderful blessing, and you should just take my word for it.
Joseph: Is that also why he looks like your friend Raul?
Messenger: Sir! The enemy is at our gates!
King Solomon: Don't worry. Quickly! Cut all our babies in half!
Messenger: What? No!
King Solomon: Aha! Clearly you are the real mother.
Messenger: Why why are you even king?
King Solomon: As it turns out most voters really, really hate babies.