I've just started dating this girl, and we only recently added each other on Facebook. Her friend request came through when some friends were around. I opened up her profile to show her to my friends, but all she has are TERRIBLE pictures of herself. I literally couldn't find one good photograph, even though I know she is cute and have seen her in person. How could it be that someone is that unphotogenic? She's not the hottest girl I have ever been with, but she is definitely cute, by seemingly nothing 2D could ever prove that.
My girlfriend thinks there are ants living in her laptop.
My girlfriend and I just drove by a big sign that said "Pilates Lessons". My girlfriend's response, "What a strange place to train pilots!"
I was fooling around with my girlfriend one time and started fingering her. About 30 seconds into it she told me to stop and use my penis because my penis was "more gentle than my violent fingers." I politely obliged.
I asked my girlfriend if she had ever been to F.A.O. Schwarz when she was younger, she then replied asking why she would go to the bank when she was 12
I had been trying to get this guy to like me since the first day I met him.. freshman year of college. We ended up being pretty good friends, but I still wasn't going to be satisfied until something physical happened between us. One night, we were at Taco Bell talking about sex, exes, and what turns us on. About an hour later, we were in his dorm making out. He was laying on top of me.. and all of the sudden I felt something super wet on my face. He stopped kissing me, looked down at my face and said.. "What's all over your face?" Turns out.. he got a bloody nose while we were making out. It was all over my face, neck, and cleavage. He then ran out of the room and took care of his problem. Leaving me in his dorm.. covered in blood. Wtf?! I'll never look at him the same way again.
My ex dumped me with the reasoning, "All we ever do is have sex." I was always trying to take her out, to dinner, or the movies, but she would always say she was to tired from work, or some other reason for not wanting to go. Since we would then stay in, we'd watch a movie or something and eventually end up doing it. Life is fair isn't it?
About two weeks ago, my boyfriend passed gas in front of me. In the awkward silence, I started to giggle, because that's what I do when I feel awkward and have nothing to say. Since then, he's decided it's okay to do it all the time when I'm there because it makes me giggle, and if I giggle I must not mind. I mind.
Whenever my girlfriend or myself yawns, we use our index finger to fish-hook the other's mouth. If you've ever seen someone jerk their head and try to bite a finger, it's very hilarious.
The other night I was getting ready to iChat with my long distance girlfriend. While the video chat window loaded, I thought I would prank her by mooning the camera, so it'd be the first thing she saw. Surprisingly, she had the same idea, and her boobs filled my screen as soon as it loaded. We both just busted out laughing about how much we love each other.
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