We get it! You two are into each other! That is confirmed! It'd be halfway understandable if this were like some spontaneous romance thing, or even a heartfelt goodbye, but you two have been tonguebragging for like five whole minutes now. Nobody is impressed.


Saying this phrase is—aside from being overplayed and always untrue—illogically gross. What moron decided that the best way to show disgust was to say something even more worthy of disgust? Ok, maybe the first time someone said this it was a little funny, but that ship has sailed. Let it go.


There are design flaws, and then there are design_ failures_. If you make a door that people have to touch with their hands after using the restroom, then you have already put way to much faith in humanity and not nearly enough in your interior design strategy. It only takes one patient zero who forgot to wash their hands to grope up on that doorknob for the whole practice of hand washing to be rendered completely and utterly useless.


This is what the rock-bottom of the internet looks like. The minute you find yourself so concerned with Twitter that you're considering asking people to follow you is the minute you shouldn't be allowed to use a computer at all. And really, why would anyone want to follow a person whose twitter feed is just a log of you pathetically begging celebrities for favors?


If Dippin Dots is, in fact, the ice cream of the future, then is it safe to assume the future is terrible? What sort of catastrophe unfolds in the days to come that prevents humanity from enjoying regular ice cream? Also, if it's from the future, then who sent it back in time, AND TO WHAT END? Maybe if we all ignore Dippin' Dots it will disappear like Marty almost did when he accidentally fell in love with his mom. It's worth a shot.