What you said in June: It's so nice out. I'm definitely going to start jogging every day. It was the cold weather that was holding me back before. Beach body, here I come!

What you said in July: Sweet Jesus it's hot. I definitely can't go running now. I'm not being lazy. It's just a health hazard to run in temperatures above 82 degrees. I have to be mindful of my health.

What you you're saying now: Ok, maybe jogging isn't for me. I mean, I went that one time and it was really boring. If not for the excruciating cramps and the need to stop every minute to pretend to tie my shoe, I probably would have died of boredom. Maybe I'll join a gym in the fall. Yeah. I'll definitely do that.

What you said in June: Yes! We HAVE to go to a water park this summer. They are SO fun. Remember that time like 10 years ago? Greg was insane. Man, that was the best. We HAVE to go.

What you said in July: There's still time. It's crazy that the summer's already half way done though. But I called Greg. He's IN. We'll probably go in a couple weekends, or the weekend after.

What you're saying now: F*cking Greg! He screwed this up. I was ready to go. Now it's probably too late. I mean, we're both free this weekend, but, ugh, I think I need something a bit more low-key.

What you said in June: Christmas was five months ago. I'm going to toss this bad boy on the tracks if "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" comes up on shuffle again while I'm waiting for the train. Right after the saxophone solo.

What you said in July: I guess I forgot to take "All I Want For Christmas Is You" off here, but that's all right. Some songs are just too good to keep pent up in an external hard drive until December 1st. I don't care what that gal next to me on the bus thinks. She's probably just jealous of Mariah's pipes.

What you're saying now: Christmas is five months away. Time to bust out the second best Wham! song I'll deny listening to in public.

What you said in June: I'm tired of looking like an over-sized fifth grader in these cargo shorts. I'll head over to that store my ex-girlfriend used to talk so much about once it gets too hot for these slacks she bought me right before we broke up.

What you said in July: There's no way I'm paying full trouser price for only half the material. Especially when I have no idea how much higher or lower than my knee they're supposed to be. Plus, what kind of self-respecting professional would even consider wearing shorts to work?

What you're saying now: What's the easiest way to reattach legs to pants?

What you said in June: This is a great idea. We're grown-ups now. I think we can get this together. Greg says he has a buddy who does something related to vacation rentals, so he's going to hook it up.

What you said in July: You don't want to use up your beach weekend too early in the summer. Obviously. You have to save it till regular summer stuff gets boring. And drinking while leaning my upper body on my fire escape is still pretty fun.

What you're saying now: Fucking Greg! He said he'd be able to hook this up no problem, but now he says he can only get us a Tuesday-Thursday rental at peak rates. Who wants to do that? No one.