Here's to the breakfast lovers.
The holders of greasy spoons. The hotcake hoppers. The nieces and nephews of Jemima. The ones who passionately believe in salt, pepper and the pursuit of pork products.
The purveyors of watery coffee and the consumers of saran wrapped, frozen, twice re-heated, so-called pastries. The hash browns of society. The ones who always carry a bottle of their own Tabasco. Just. In. Case.
The ones who see eating cycles differently.
Who acknowledge the validity of a ham, cheese and green pepper omelet morning, noon, night or late night. The ones who think the right to biscuits and gravy should be a constitutional amendment. The ones vehemently decrying the restrictions and limited availability of the McDonald's breakfast menu. The ones for whom the phrase 'Breakfast for dinner' carries a deep, philosophical and spiritual resonance in their souls.
They're not fond of salad and have no respect for bacon bits.
They pioneer over oil-flooded skillets. They tell stories with mouths full of chicken fried steak. They innovate. They smother and cover on a whim. They dream of moons over your hammy. They do things with bacon that seem like they should be illegal.
They push breakfast forward.
You can mock their heavy metal selections on the jukebox, belittle the single-mindedness of their culinary vision, and serve them a vegetarian lunch every time you have them over. About the only thing you can't do is ignore their sausage breath and pretend not to see that blotch of ketchup stuck to their beard.
Maybe they weren't served enough breakfast when they were children. Maybe they come from a banana-and-out-the-door kind of family.
How else can you stare at an empty plate and see a mountain of scrambled eggs hidden beneath a blackened coating of ground pepper? Or sit in a silent room and hear a distant sizzling calling your taste buds and stomachs to come back home? Or gaze at a barren stretch of desert highway at 3 in the morning and see a flickering neon sign that says 'Breakfast served 24 hours.'
We raise our side orders of gravy smothered toast to these kinds of people.
While some see them as dietarily and mentally unbalanced, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can have breakfast whenever they want, are the ones who do.