Just because someone didn't murder you in your sleep like they half-jokingly said they would while showing you their extensive collection of self-fashioned ninja swords on move-in day doesn't mean you have to go through another year of late nights, early mornings, and impromptu Jujitsu sessions with them. But you will, because when compared to learning how to live with another human being, occasionally having to ask that the volume of a particularly aggressive anime be lowered is like a walk in the park--one that wasn't taken to allow for alone time with a recently purchased body pillow. It's going to end badly and you're never going to want to see them again, even if you did have the GPA required to study abroad in Japan.

If you have to think, even for a second, about whether or not you could grow a decent mustache, it's not worth an attempt. There are few things more unbecoming than a patchy, wispy, or otherwise inadequate mustache. Not only will it make your skin all itchy and oily, it will end up magnifying the very flaws you're trying to hide with it. Have a cold sore? Now you have a cold sore with hair sort of covering it. When you grow a lousy mustache, the only flavor it will save is the taste of rejection.

It's still up for debate whether or not you could actually call it a party, but whatever it was really threw a $50 all-you-can-drink-as-long-as-it's-only-two-beers wrench into your scholarly schedule. It would have been one thing if you ended up sucking face with Jessica Stabler, but the fact that she stayed in to study with the guy you sit next to in class was a total slap in the face.

They don't make movies about people taking tests in college. Well, they might, but they probably don't do that well in the box office. It would have been one thing if you ended up doing well on the exam, but the fact that you got the same grade as a guy who not only went to the party, but hooked up with Jessica Stabler, was a total slap in the face.