Today, my girlfriend asked me if my grandmother had any children
When me and my boyfriend are having sex, I just plan everything we are going to do afterwards.
My boyfriend was very reluctant about doing it with his parents being home, because he had a feeling they will, ''know what's going on." A while ago, we decided to do it anyway. He discretely locked the door and we started it. As I was going down on him, his cat decided she wants to ''visit us'' so she was meowing loudly in front of the door. Normally, he would let her in instantly. The weird thing is, the cat did not stop and started meowing hysterically, so his mother tried to calm her down saying: "Come here, you can't go there right now! They are busy!" We haven't done anything unless we were alone since then.
My new foreign girlfriend just told me she regularly gets a Brazilian wax for cultural reasons. I must learn more about her people
My girlfriend and I went out to dinner. We were going to get there 30 minutes early so I told her to call and see if they could bump us up. The reservation was under my name. After being together for a year she didn't know how to say my last name.
My boyfriend mixes up words a lot, which I think is hilarious. One hot day he noticed his penis was especially soft and said, "Wow, my penis is really flatulent!" I think he meant flaccid
I hope at least
An ex-boyfriend of mine genuinely thought girls had one period a year, and it lasted a whole month
It took my girlfriend almost a full season of The Office to realize it wasn't a reality show.
I just started reading these a few days ago and I thought I should fill you all in, in the past two weeks, me and my boyfriend made 160 points for Gryffindor. 160.
My girlfriend decided to peak into the bathroom to watch me take a whiz. When I shook it off and zipped up, she asked why I didn't use toilet paper. For 24 years she was under the assumption that guys wiped their penis heads after peeing.
Whenever my boyfriend and I pass by the pad aisle, my boyfriend always closes his eyes, makes a funny face, and runs past as fast as he can.
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