My boyfriend picked me up at my house one day so I could run errands with him. When I answered the door he gave me an enormous hug and told me that my hair smelled amazing. I thanked him and told him I had just changed shampoo. He said, "Thank God. Your hair normally stinks around this time of day." I don't think I've ever been more offended.
After reading an article about the possibility of male lactation, my boyfriend won't let me suck on his nipples during foreplay because he's afraid it'll make him start lactating.
I met my girlfriend's dad this weekend and I completely blanked on his name, First and last
there was no Mr. ____ option
My boyfriend is always biting his nails. One day when I was leaving for work I went to kiss him and it ended up getting a little heated. When I pulled away to leave he told me before we kissed he had a little piece of skin in his mouth but now it was gone..it went in my mouth! This has happened a couple times and he says, "Now there's a piece of me inside of you!"
My boyfriend and his friends are always talking about some numbers that I didn't understand until I saw his Google Calendar with points marked on days we have sex and days of my period marked as "No Points for Gryffindor"
Whenever my girlfriend and I have to clean up after going at it, we sing the 'clean up' song from Barney.
Even though her family has never lived in the south, every time i would make a joke about rednecks my girlfriend would always get really offended. Last week i finally found out why: her grandparents are first cousins.
So I got my tongue pierced for the simple reason of improving my head skills (which were already excellent). Well whenever a guy notices it and says with some amount of surprise "You have your tongue pierced?! Why did you get it?" I've just started replying "To suck dick"The look on their face is a beautiful mixture of shock and disbelief.
I should have never taught my gf what trolling was because now whenever she says something that she knows pisses me off she cocks her head to the side and says, "problem?" and then asks, "you mad bro?"
My girlfriend was texting me asking what my biggest, dirtiest fantasy was. I didn't really want to say but she kept asking and asking so I told her everything, in 3 message long graphic detail. She wrote back "Oh
Well I've always wanted to have sex while its raining". I think I may have scared her off sex for a while.
After my fiance and I have sex we lay there for awhile and talk. I then tell him to dress me. I tell him if I ever get into a coma he will be the one to dress me and this is practice.
My boyfriend tends to be late to everything, so I created a new punishment policy for when he shows up late to hang out with me. He has to scratch my back for as long as he was late.
I just asked my girlfriend if we could have sex, without looking at me she said "Nah bro" and continued to play Dead Island. Now I know what it feels like.
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