What they say: (Chainsaw noise).

What they use to decorate: Movie-quality fake blood and state-of-the-art SFX equipment paid for with 6-months worth of unemployment checks.

What they hand out: Fear.

What they say: "You'll thank me later."

What they use to decorate: Obstacle course to promote exercise.

What they hand out: Fresh fruit, maybe a Heath bar on accident.

What they say: "Well, aren't you just the cutest--I mean, spookiest--little things I've ever laid eyes on."

What they use to decorate: Bats made from discarded egg cartons and thistle, pumpkins with autumnal New England landscapes carved into them.

What they hand out: Homemade pumpkin-shaped chocolate pops wrapped in ghoul-themed plastic tied with black and orange ribbon, alternative white and lactose-free chocolate versions for the "less-fortunate" children in the neighborhood.

What they say: "Release the hounds."

What they use to decorate: Skeletons.

What they hand out: Pain.

What they say: "Take ONE, please."

What they use to decorate: Poorly-drawn smiley faces, passive-aggressive messages.

What they hand out: Fun size candy, a bowl.