It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 6 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
After repeatedly warning one of my roommates to stop leaving his chew spitters around the house the rest of my housemates and I decided action needed to be taken. If anybody out there watches "Man v. Food" they should know about the ghost chili pepper, supposedly the hottest in the world. Well one of us had bought a small bag of dried peppers while on vacation as a joke. When you leave your dip cans all over the house it's pretty easy to dump it out and mix in some of the hottest chilis on the planet. I enjoyed watching you freakout over the sink looking like you just gargled a 5th of hydrochloric acid. Own'd.
Mike E. from K-State
My roommate never talked, never moved from his futon, and had an annoying voice. So I told everyone about his creepy-ass silent Skype conversations with his girlfriend where they would stare at each other for hours and not say anything. Sorry man, but that's fucking weird.
Robert S. from Michigan
We had a friend who was much of a douchebag with us sometimes, and honestly, we never thought much of it. But when he dumped his girlfriend (one of our good friends) in public, in a very harsh way, we thought we could have a little revenge of our own. One day he came to our place for a party and got pretty rowdy, even though he had swimming practice early the next morning. Anyhow, the big boy fell seriously asleep on the couch, and I unbuttoned his shirt, and shaved the area around his chest in the shape of a heart. (He have a very thick shag, so it was very noticeable.) The next morning, he woke up, went to the swimming pool and didn't seem to know why people were looking at him funny and pointing at him. Until he showered. The lifeguards still call him "Sweetheart."
My dad told me that when he went to college, there was a girl who was a real jerk and a snob to all of the people in the dorm. So when she went off for Christmas vacation, my dad and his friends caught a wild duck, and snuck into her room through the window. They left the duck there along with 2 loaves of bread (so the duck wouldn't starve). When she came back, her room was covered in duck poo.
The semester I spent abroad in Europe, I had the worst American roommates ever. I won't get into too many details, but aside from treating me like their maid, they expected me to be their personal translator, as I was the only person in the apartment who had bothered to learn a word of the native language before moving there for a term. Eventually I got sick of the abuse and began deliberately mistranslating to make their lives harder. That hot guy who lost interest at the bar after you asked me to talk to him for you? Instead of giving him your numbers, I told him you both had syphilis. Take a goddamn language class next time and stop treating people like you own them, you lazy-ass whores.
Submit yours here!