After going out for two years my boyfriend has never remembered my birthday, a week ago he told me he would never forget my birthday again, I asked him why? Apparently it's the same day as the last Batman film. He also made sure to mention he was going to be busy on my next birthday.
I'll be the first to admit that I tend to shy away from all things kinky. My boyfriend gets really enthusiastic when we have sex, and to be frank, I get tired after a while. In order to speed things up, I take top and work him out. He especially likes it when I talk dirty, though it makes me feel like a hooker. Regardless, the fake kinkiness gets him to finish and lets me go to sleep. I'm a horrible person.
Every time my shirt is off in front of my boyfriend, he always looks at them like a child on Christmas and says, very surprised, "BOOBS!" and then tries to motorboat me.
While laying in bed my girlfriend began crying. When I asked why she said "You just make me feel so special, but I know I'm not special because you have made all of your other girlfriends feel this way." What?
An ex of mine used to enjoy blowing air in my mouth for fun while making out.Definitely a moment ruiner.
When I used to make out with my ex I'd casually put both my hands on her cheeks then quickly plug her nose and start sucking the air out of her lungs while trying to say Haarrryy Poottteer like a Dementor.
The girl I have been dating for four months called me this weekend crying and upset because she went out with her roommate and nobody hit on her at the bar. Direct quote from her "Why doesn't anybody like me?" Apparently the guy that has been dating her for four months doesn't count.
I have a decent amount of chest hair. When we're close and my shirt's off, my wife has taken to pawing at my chest like a kitten and saying quietly, "patter, patter, patter
My boyfriend loves to rub my ass. Every chance he gets. We could be with his friends, out in public, he doesn't care. The only warning I get is when he does a quick check for children in the immediate area. How considerate of him.
My boyfriend and I watched turtles mating on the discovery channel and the male had a blank face and was sticking his tongue out the whole time. Now he wants to imitate the turtle whenever we have sex.
Just found out the couple I had threesomes for a month are having a kid, can't wait to find out who's it is!
My girlfriend refuses to have sex with me when she's on the "placebo week" of her birth control. I keep trying to explain to her that that's not how it works (I'm a 4th year Pharmacy student) but she just gets mad.
To the guy who's never been in a relationship: Neither have I. I think its because I'm a crazy person. Or my tiny boobs
My girlfriend realized last night that my dick looks a bit like a nose, so she now wants to draw a face, and dye it blue, so it will look like Gonzo from the Muppets
I'm not sure what to tell her.