It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
My roommate is a slob. Couple that with her annoying little mutt and you have a recipe for disaster. She feeds it at the table, lets it chew up the furniture, it barks constantly, pees on all my possessions(including books) and to top it off, it has a sensitive stomach so it vomits everywhere. She would NEVER clean any of it up, and after telling her to clean up a puddle on the floor for two days before I couldn't take it anymore, I had enough. While she was feeding it at dinner, I went ahead to give it a little something "special". As we were going to sleep, I made sure to relocate all my stuff to my bedroom in anticipation of the imminent puke-storm and went to bed with a grin on my face. Sure enough, the dog had vomited in her bed, rolled around in it, walked around, leaving puke everywhere in its' wake. Curtains, shoes, carpets, walls, not even her clothes were spared. She woke up covered in it as well and it was very difficult to keep a straight face. Too bad she didn't learn, but she must get tired of waking up to a fresh pile of partially digested dinner on her pillow at some point.
I had this room-mate that was a total pest, we even nicknamed him "Pest" behind his back. He'd try sleep with mates' girlfriends, he'd try spy on you when you're having sex, all kinds of disgusting behavior. So to get rid of this guy, I knew there was this girl he was REALLY into, like sadistically obsessed with, and I was good friends with her. So I got her to get a photo of us two, and write on it "To my future hubby, I love you xoxo", I framed it, and put it in the lounge room. We already weren't getting along with Pest, so he decided to pack up and move out the next day the jealousy put him over the edge. He then moved in with my Brother, and within 2 weeks my brother was calling me up saying "How do we get rid of this creep?". I knew he had over-stayed his visa, so I called Customs, they tracked him down (with all of the helpful info I gave them), and they threw him in Villawood (The Aussie equivalent of Guantanamo Bay), after a month or so in a detention center he got deported back to the UK, never to return. Moral of the story, don't let me know your weakness.
Let's just say my roommate has really bad hygiene and skin. So on New Years Eve instead of going to a party, I spent the night helping him pop a huge cyst on his back, after him threatening to make a huge mess in our room if I didn't stay and help. Yeah I threw up twice. Nice way to start a year.
I moved in with an older woman while I was completing an internship. I gave her my security deposit and first month's rent a week before moving in. The day I move in, I come to find out that she has purchased a bird. Not some cute little chirping parakeet, mind you. This thing has the same pitch as a dying smoke alarm and the best part is, unless you are in its direct line of site, it won't shut the fuck up. I put up with this and her hypocritical need for the kitchen to be clean(but it's ok when she leaves half of the dishes dirty on the countertop and uses the dishwasher to store her precious supply of Keystone Light)for a couple months. I move out and she decides to keep my security deposit because there was "lint in the carpet" and she had to remake the bed. Thankfully at my next job, I work with a girl who's father-in-law is a lawyer and loves writing threatening letters to scumbag landlords. Week later, got my security deposit back. Wish I could have been there to see her open that letter and write that check.
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