It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 6 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!
My roommate my freshman year was a pretty cool guy, but about halfway through the semester he got this asian music arcade game imported from Japan. It's like guitar hero with no strumming, except the buttons make a ridiculously loud noise every time you push them. He proceeded to play this game until 2AM or later almost every night, even during exams. So the day before it was time to go home for Christmas, I unscrewed the bottom of the controller and filled it with 3-month-old moldy nacho cheese. I then put the screws back in, and he was none the wiser. It's only a matter of time, bro.
Steve M. from Caltech
I was late applying for housing freshman and got stuck in a room with 3 other guys. One of these guys was just awful. He never showered, clipped his toenails all over on OUR beds not his own bed, and came back in the room at 6am every single day. When he was moving to another room because we had complained so much about him, we decided to "help" him along and put all his stuff in the hallway and lock the door. When he came back he was absolutely irate. He knocked down Seth's dresser, breaking his lamp and speakers in the process, as well as nearly crushing the third roommate beneath it. He then left and came back in about 10 minutes with some people from down the hall to help him get his stuff, and knocked down the dresser that we had just gotten everything back in over again, and stomped all over Seth's stuff. The funny part is, he was moving to another building entirely because no one in the entire hall wanted him as a roommate, and the people that came to help were only there because they wanted him out quicker. A few months later I heard from a friend that he had gotten arrested for stealing his new roommate's ipod. Makes me wonder if he stole anything from me.
So my new roommate is a lovely Serbian boy from Canada. He's really into Serbia and culture so if he isn't lecturing people about Alexander the Great he's listening to Serbian folk music. The other night one of my friends came into my room to talk to me and he got to talking to my roommate about Serbia (Bad choice). My roommate goes on and on so I tuned him out until I hear him say "Well, communism isn't really that bad." And he went on to explain that communism would work if "You Americans" didn't come along What? Okay so my roommate is a communist! (That might explain why he takes all of my food for himself) But I mean, who doesn't enjoy the idea of communism? So I let it go. It's not that bad, right? So down the line I go on Facebook and his profile picture is him standing in the middle of our room (you can see all of my Doctor Who posters behind him) with his hat tilted so that it casts an ominous shadow on his face and he's holding a crow bar across his chest like he's about to bash someone's head in. The caption is "Cock the steal it's kill or be killed" to which I peed my pants in sheer terror. Maybe he just enjoys fixing cars while listening to rap music, right? So I let it go.
I rarely go on his side of the room but when he left for winter break he didn't move his desk away from the heater so I did it for him. So I get one of my friends to help me lift his desk and as we move it a drawer slides open to reveal that his top drawer (in comparison to my top drawer which holds chocolate bars and tape) had only a dagger inside of it. Yes, a dagger. No, not a letter opener or a pocket knife. A dagger. The closest knife I can find is by Google searching "sacrificial blade". Long story short, my roommate is a communist who plans on killing me at some point in the near future. If I die soon, at least my story has made it to the masses.
My current roommate seemed pretty cool at first, until I realized that she sleeps ALL THE TIME. When I leave for my 9AM class, she's asleep. When I come back at around noon, she's asleep. After my 3PM class, she's asleep. She wakes up at around 11PM, does homework until 3AM, then sleeps again. I literally couldn't make a sound in my room, EVER, or she would flip out. Well last weekend she went to visit home. We had just made a grocery run, and she bought TONS of perishable foods. So after she left, I unplugged her fridge. On Sunday, when I knew she was about five minutes away, I plugged it back in. She basically came back to a hundred bucks of rotten food. Luckily she's not smart enough to realize what happened. Oops.
Lynn H. from Southwestern University
A couple of years ago I shared an apartment with 2 girls and 2 guys. One of the girls was absolutely gross. She wouldn't shower much and when she did she would use everyone else's soap, shampoo, etc. What grossed us out the most was that she would leave her DIRTY (physically dirty, nasty stains) underwear on the floor in other peoples bedrooms. One day we put plastic gloves on and took her dirty underwear out to the living room and hung it up on the ceiling fan. When she came in at night with her boyfriend and turned on the light/fan all her nasty stained thongs flew all over the living room. Her boyfriend was disgusted and she was so mad she cried. Best part? It only took her 2 weeks to move out.
Nikki T. from MDC
My roommate freshman year was nice, pretty, and smart but a complete and utter slob and a closet whore. She would leave for the weekend and leave half eaten food all over her side of the room. Not to mention she had a boyfriend for a long while and began banging basketball and football players religiously. Her side was so messy, and anytime something was on my side I would literally punt it to her side of the room. At the end of the year, she didn't come home one night (again). I took one of my condoms and put some lotion in the end and threw it on the floor under her bed. Being a bit tipsy, I forgot this even took place. The best part was her dad's face on move out day when he swept the "used" condom out from under her bed all while knowing she hadn't seen her boyfriend in months. Def a bitch move, but hey, don't be a sloppy raging whore and that stuff wont happen!
Jenn H. from Penn State University
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