My boyfriend has taken a liking to talking like a robot occasionally. It was funny, until one night I turned all the lights off, got into bed with him and got super close to him, went in for a kiss and right before we kissed he said, "Chance of intimacy increased to 40%"
in his robot voice.
Every time I see my boyfriend he insists on smelling my face and guessing what I last ate. He has never guessed correctly.
I don't know which makes me happier, the fact that I turned my girlfriend into a gamer and fellow lover of Skyrim, or the fact that we have sex to the soundtrack.
For a few months now, my boyfriend has been referring to my bras as "boob prisons." As a result, he frequently campaigns for "boob emancipation."
Whenever I walk upstairs in front of my girlfriend, she punches my buttcheeks with every step. I accepted this until a few months into our relationship, when one day out of curiosity I asked her why. She replied saying that everybody in her family does it, and was genuinely surprised to discover that it was just their family
Had a threesome finally. Honestly, the first thought that popped into my head when it was done was, "Achievement Unlocked."
One day I decided I was going to try and 'motor-boat' my girlfriend's boobs. The only issue (which I didn't think about at the time) was that I have very thin blood, and am prone to violent nosebleeds. Blood ALL over her boobs.
My girlfriend hates the movie Anchorman because it's the only movie I wouldn't pause to have sex with her.
My boyfriend is a very heavy guy. We play this game where he lays on top of me and I try to get out from under him.
The first time my boyfriend and I had sex, he started humming the Super Mario Bros theme song while he put on the condom. I couldn't stop laughing, needless to say this has become a common occurrence.
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