Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Ron Swanson, Jack Donaghy, or Republican Presidential Candidate?
February 27, 2012
It's never too early to learn that the government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer's teet until they have sore, chapped nipples
A mere forty years ago, beach volleyball was just beginning. No bureaucrat would have invented it, and that's what freedom is all about.
Capitalism, God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor.
Small towns are where you see the kindness and goodness and courage of everyday Americans. The folks who are teaching our kids, running our prisons, growing our cigarettes. People who are still living by core American values.
The point of this country is that if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to six hundred pounds, and die of a heart-attack at 43, you can. You are free to do so. To me, that's beautiful.
I will not apologize for America! I don't apologize for America because I believe in America!
Give the park police more ammo.
Crying is only okay in two places: funerals and the Grand Canyon.
Darn liberal media.
I like being able to fire people who provide services to me.
Politics and war are remarkably similar situations.
I have faith in things I can see and buy and deregulate.
If Thomas Edison invented electric light today, Dan Rather would report it on
News as, 'Candle-making industry threatened'.
Oh, in his mind Reagan is still President? You lucky bastard.
parks and recreation
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.