My parents are out of town and I have to take care of my dog. These are funny conversations I would have with my dog if he were a belligerent human.Amir: Chico what do you want for breakfast?Chico: Nothing, asshole.Amir: Chico, now come on, you have to eat something, You didn't eat dinner last night, mom's gonna get pissed at me.Chico: I SAID NOTHING OKAY LEAVE ME ALONE chico turns on his gameboyAmir: Chico come here.Chico: leave me alone okay? burpAmir: Chico, is that booze on your breathe?Chico: No. go away.Amir: Come here. grabbing him by the collar bringing him towards meChico: Let go of me! I was on level two of Castlevania!!Amir: Lick my face.Chico licks amir's face.Amir: Well, that was fucking adorable, but there's rum on your breathe.Chico runs upstairs.Amir: I know where you're going! You can't hide Chico!2 hours later
Amir: Chico come here I have a doggy treat for you!Chico: Alright alright, gimme two minutes.Amir: Chico? Are you smoking in there?Chico: Umm" no?Amir: Open this door right now chico!Chico: Gimme like, 2 minutes dude, I swear.Amir opens door, Chico is standing by the window smoking a joint.Amir: Unbelievable! Chico! Put down that marijuana cigarette!!Chico: (on phone) Hey hold on a sec, my DAD just walked in the room.Amir: Okay, that is UNFAIR.Chico: (hanging up fone) Yah well its true! Lighten up, ass. chico waves the smoke away with his paw3 hours later
Amir: Chico, I have to take you on a walk at least twice a day.Chico: Alright, but can we do it after Celebrity Poker Showdown?Amir: Okay but don't ruin this episode for me, I haven't watched it, I like to watch them all the way through.Chico: Alright, Jesus, just give me twenty minutes and we'll go walk.Amir: Fine, just call me.20 mins later
Chico: Yeah! I'm ready.Amir: Alright lets go.Chico: Jeneane Garafalo won.Amir: Youre a fucking dick, you know that?Bedtime
Chico: Hey AmirAmir: Yeah Chico?Chico: I know I come across as a real belligerent human sometimes, but I don't mean it.Amir: That's okay. Sometimes I come down a little hard on you too.Chico: Well, I guess we can both agree to disagree!Amir: You're shitting on my bed.THE END. The moral of the story is: threefold.Not too much news to report. But don't miss these SUPER-HOT HOTLINKS. There's funny stuff in there, like this commercial! (warning: contains wang touchin'). TTYL's!