I remember a time when I could type on my compubox a handful of w's, followed by the words college and humor, then press knowingly the period/greater than/dot with a box around it button, and finally hit the first three letters of the word comedy to find a venerable plethora of hilarity. Collegehumor.com was the 24 hour good times truck stop on the information super highway that connects people like you to people like me. Hysterical links (each more hysterical than the next), hilarious updates (I would literally slap my bendy part that connects my calf and my thigh), and original programming so funny that you would laugh that laugh that makes you fart hard enough to be worried some secret of the ooze spilled out. A laugh that made you send some feelers back there on an important fact finding mission, you know what im sayin? I think you do. And I think those brave searching digits are longing to be put back to work again.

I can remember a time (2002) when Joe College was so on top of his game that he was turning down guest star appearances on such television stalwarts as the New 100 Thousand Dollar Pyramid of Stars and Literally Blind Date. I can remember a time (Sept 10, 2001) when I wasn't afraid that Amir was going to fly a plane into my apartment building. I can remember a time (never) when I thought Ricky's updates were cute and not brain-splinteringly annoying. Alas, those days are over friends. But not forgotten.

Sure in England collegehumor.com is called universityhumour.uk, but is that enough? No, I challenge the collegehumor writer to dig deeper. I challenge the collegehumor reader to expect more, and to respect less. I challenge YOU (yes, you) to make this great site great again. Even greater dammit! Find the links. Send collegehumor the picture of your roommate naked with a coat hanger up his ass, lying in a pool of his own protein, clutching his 98 degrees cassingle. Take the snapshot of the drunk girl who wrote collegehumor on her tits backwards with lipstick, so cleverly making her nipples the o's. Shave everything! This site can be more than just a crappy t shirt store, a nerd poster factory, a place where men can buy beauty products that's not the mall. This site can be the crass Mecca of the ages again. This site can return to its glorious past, while marching confidently into the future of free flip flops. I cannot do it alone friends, I need your help. Help me help you help America. Just fucking help already.

Thank you, and know that I will never stop loving you and that I will never wear a condom. Now check out our sponsor MagazinesForCheap. And also, while you're checking things, check out these hotlinks…