First off, why are you on the Internet and not seeing Mean Girls? If your excuse is "I already saw it over the weekend," my question then becomes "Dude, why aren't you seeing Mean Girls a second time?" Bottom line- that movie was mind-blowingly good. And I'm glad Lindsay Lohan's almost 18 and not any younger so we're only stuck with a month or so of douchey guys counting down the days Olsen-style until she's legal. Way to go, Tina Fey. Way to go.

Anyway, inspired by the refreshing aroma of high school love flowing through America's collective conscience, the CollegeHumor writing staff (at least those without finals they had to study for last night) decided to take our best cracks at creating a mega-lame 9th grade love poem. Much like the pseudo-Australian home to the Bloomin' Onion aussietizer, there were no rules.

So here they are, listed below next to each writer's pretty face, in the order I received them (mine is here). Enjoy!

Do You Want The Moon, Marie?
by Streeter Seidell

My heart beats to the rhythm of your voice
by James Girvin

Love Haiku for You- Jimmy in the second row
by Meg Connolly

You + Me = Us
by Steve Hofstetter

Puppy Love
by Rex Brown

You French Kissed My Best Friend
by Mindy Raf

Space Angel of Love
by Justin Droms of The Georgetown Lampoon

I've loved you since that day in math
by Dean Camp

The Tingle of my Loin
by Josh Jacobs

Baby U Da 1
by Amir Blumenfeld

Artistically Untitled
by Bobby Oerzeni

The Snowfall Sonata
by Neil Janowitz

My love for you has many faces
by Adam Jacobi

I Like You
by Eric Wang

A spoonful of desire!!!!
by Nick Pelton

Well, hope you enjoyed. If you're still in the mood to read, check out Matt's new
"Ah, College"
or Steve's new Observational Humor. And if you're looking for a lot of good magazines for so cheap your head will spin, check out our sponsor XOXO 4-EVER!