If you're anything like me, you check your email at least once a week! But gosh darnit, 304 of those emails are unwarranted! Scientists who do research predict that by the year 2021, one in every triangle amount of emails will be SPAM or UNWANTED mail (these same scientists predict shapes will replace numbers). So you are now faced with two decisions: Buy a Spam filtering unit for your email system (which could be very cumbersome and very inefficient) or you can have FUN WITH SPAM!
It is really easy to have fun with your spam mail. Just create a board, like candyland, but instead of rolling dice, just check your email! Every time you receive a piece of spam mail, refer to the guide below, read the instructions, and let the games begin/end!
SpamONE: URGENT UTILISATION ASSISTANCE from CHIEF WALE ADENUGA
Is your chief writing from an eastern African nation? Move Forward one! Is your chief asking for money in the sum of over $25,000? Move Forward Two! Does the email include "I entract your utmost reliance in this information's and the transaction as whole?" Go back to START, loser!
SpamTWO: CHXXEAP V-IAAA-GRRA
Is Viagra Horribly misspelled? (VGIRFRRGA) Change locations with another player on the board! Is it just annoyingly misspelled? (V/I/A/G/R/A/) Move back two! Does your miracle drug offer between 36-48 hours of nonstop erections??? Move ahead four spaces and forward me that email! My mistress often complains that my erections only last a shade under a day.
SpamTHREE: Amir, it's your mother, please respond or I'll cut you off financially.
Does your email seem conspicuously personalized? Move ahead four. Does your email reference very specific dates in your past, such as your birthday and your bar mitzvah? Move back three. Does your email draw attention to your social security number and very important banking information? Check another email, this one is too creepy.