When you're a senior, finals are different. They feel so, I don't know, final.

The timing for Cinquo de Mayo couldn't be worse. Here it is, a holiday where people celebrate with nachos and Corona but everyone is stuck in the library. Not me – I think studying instead of nachos and Corona is like vacuuming during the Super Bowl.

For the classes I have with finals, I fill up an entire notebook. For the classes I have with papers, the notebook has a bunch of half-drawn pictures, notes from the one class we had before I realized there was no final, and the date crossed out and changed each time I didn't end up taking notes.

It's not that seniors have fewer finals than everyone else, it's just that we don't care. By now, most seniors have jobs or have been accepted to grad school. And if they haven't, they're still smart enough to know that ten points on a calc final isn't going to make or break them.

If you finish finals early, keep your mouth shut. You may think it's cool, but there is nothing that other people hate more than the guy who finishes all of his work first. Walk up to anyone and say, "I don't have any finals and I kicked your baby brother in his stupid fat head." "What? You don't have any finals?"

Like this column? Then buy the book!