What do you get for the college student that has everything? More beer. Someone once yelled at me to shut my music off, and said I had to listen to them because it was their birthday. Which was helpful, since I knew how old they were before I turned my music up and laughed. Why do we still write people's names on the envelope of their birthday card? I guess it avoids confusion when roommates have the same birthday, since that happens all the time. 22 is such a let-down birthday. Now I know how New Year's felt. Weekday birthdays are not bad because you can't go out they're bad because you have classes. Nothing says "happy birthday" like 300 pages of reading and a two-hour lecture. Like this column? Then buy the book!