Why is there so much hype over Brittany Spears' new Pepsi commercial? I was pissed the first time I saw a commercial before the previews in a movie theatre. But it was nothing compared to the first time I saw a preview in a movie theatre for a commercial.

I was riding in a cab and I heard boxing announcer Michael Buffer as the celebrity welcome voice. His line was "Let's get ready to rumble – for safety!" Sweet – then we can have a knife fight for world peace.

Have you ever seen those rascal commercials? It's that motorized chair, and their big thing is that they give away a free one every once in a while. Everyone says "I got my free rascal" in this really weird way. Apparently, it comes with a complimentary lobotomy.

I hate how companies are using September 11th to sell their products. Yes, the airlines need support, and New York has to get back into the tourism business. But there's no way I'm going to buy a Psychic reading "for America."

There should be a channel devoted to television commercials. They'd show half-hour blocks of all the best Coke commercials, Budweiser ads, and Wendy's spots. And they could have breaks where they show three-minute clips of sit-coms so you can go to the bathroom without missing anything.

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