In high school, you had a principal and an assistant principal to kiss up to. In college, you have 473 deans. Better get some chapstick, buddy. How great would it be to work as an office assistant in a college and just happen to be named Dean? There's a dean for everything at my school. Dean of Students. Dean of Student Affairs. Assistant Dean of Student Affairs. Assistant Dean of Student Affairs and Special Programming. Ever think that the title "Dean" is kind of like "Associate Producer"? Do you think the Dean of Food Services gets really pissed if you call him Jimmy? We have something called "Dean's Discipline" at my school. That's when you do something wrong and you are at the complete mercy of a dean when it comes to punishment, which some people think is unfair. But how are our kids going to learn to use fascism later in life if they don't teach it to us now?Like this column? Then buy the book!