Ah, the campus dining hall where the leaders of tomorrow eat the leftovers of yesterday. I knew a girl who went out with someone who worked in our dining hall, and I told her that it was sketchy. She got very mad at me, and criticized me for treating him like he's some untouchable peon only meant to prepare food for us. Actually, I thought it was sketchy because he was 40 with a wife and two kids, but why quibble over semantics? Last year, one of my dining halls was divided up in the worst way. If you wanted a sandwich, you had to wait on line to order it. Then, you had to wait on line to pick it up. Then, you had to wait on line to pay for it. Then, it tasted like ass. And you had to wait on line to throw it out. On most meal plans, you get guest meals. But you only get like three per semester. At first, I thought that was a ridiculously small amount of times that you could bring a friend to dinner. Then I remembered that after freshman year, no one is friends with anyone they went to high school with anyway. My friends had a contest to see who could steal the most dining hall silverware. And I know stealing is wrong, but I think at $12 a meal, you should get to keep the fork. Like this column? Then buy the book!