In drinking games, one person wins and the other drinks. It's the only kind of game I've ever heard of that makes everybody happy.

I've always believed that a guy needs to be good at four things. The three standards are poker, pool, and darts. The fourth could either be drinking games or aiming your vomit, but you have to have talent at one of them.

My friends love drinking games. Some of them play beer pong, Beirut, quarters, baseball, buzz, chamber, burn out, or flip cup. But my favorite one is where you sit in your room writing a paper, taking a drink every time you hit the spacebar. I call it "Weekday."

Watching a baseball game and drinking whenever someone scores is okay. Doing it for a basketball game is not.

You know you're a regular at a bar when they pour you a drink before you order it. But when they set up your drinking game for you, I think it's time to take a night off.

Like this column? Then buy the book!