There are three types of people in college. Those who are part of Greek life, those who have friends in Greek life, and those who have a horribly misguided opinion as to what Greek life really is.

Do you have a friend who looks for Greek letters in movies, just so he can try to identify the fraternity? This is the same guy who calls 867-5309 and gets pissed when Jenny doesn't answer.

In most schools, if you're in a fraternity, you meet twice as many people as you would otherwise. I told that to someone once and they said, "yeah, but they're all Greeks." Yeah, jackass, so am I.

If someone said, "man, I hate every single chess player on this campus" they'd be looked at pretty weird. But people are allowed to hate every single person in a fraternity or sorority without an explanation. You know why? No one played chess in Animal House.

I would defend my fraternity to the death. But that's because none of my brothers have ever raped, killed, or beaten someone senseless for no apparent reason. There's one fraternity unofficially on my campus that has been accused of rape 4 of the last 5 years, and one of their members actually took a half an hour to explain to me how his brothers are simply misunderstood, and are deep down a bunch of nice guys. Yeah, deep down behind the fact that they are frickin rapists.

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