This Halloween I wore cat ears, angel wings, and carried a pitch fork, and went as every freaking girl on my campus. When Halloween falls on a Saturday, you get to party for three days. When if falls on a Monday, you party for five. This year it falls on a Wednesday, so that should be 7 days of partying. But something feels weird to me about a Halloween party on October 25th. Maybe because you can't get away with smacking someone in the back of the head during the last week of March and telling them that it's April Fool's Day weekend. Have you ever looked at someone's costume and thought "Wow, that's incredibly creative"? What you should really be saying is "why do you own that?" I know a girl who spent $100 on the perfect Halloween costume that she wore for three hours. But she can't spend the extra 50 cents to avoid drinking Natty Lite. When you're a kid, Halloween is a time you have good wholesome fun with a bunch of other neighborhood kids, but when you get to college it's just an excuse to drink. Kind of like class. Like this column? Then buy the book!