Cleaning up after college kids has to be one of the worst jobs in the world. When a janitor cleans a lounge full of beer bottles, pizza boxes, and vomit, he must be thinking "damn these kids had fun last night." Then he thinks "I'm cleaning broken glass, stale cheese, and someone else's puke." Those thoughts could not possibly go well together.

Colleges who have janitors clean up the halls and the bathrooms spoil their students. I once lived in an apartment over the summer, and this kid threw up all over the bathroom during a party. When he finally woke up the next morning, I told him to clean it and he was like "dude, don't worry, the janitor will get it." Hey moron, in my apartment, I am the janitor.

Why do janitors have shirts with their names sewn on? Mechanics and gas station attendants have this too. Why are those professions where you need to know someone's first name? When faced with a janitor or a lawyer, who would you rather call, "Hey Buddy"?

Even with the sewed on tags, I was never one of those people who knew all the maintenance staff's names. At what point do you say, "I know you're busy cleaning my friend's vomit, but we've never been properly introduced. I'm Steve."

There is not a glut in the job market yet. If there was, we'd have no janitors left. People are not janitors by choice – they are janitors because they need money. You know that scene in The Breakfast Club when Judd Nelson asks at what point someone decides to be a janitor? You ever notice the janitor never answers?

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