Senior year, everyone always asks you where you are looking for work. First semester, I said, "in sports-writing." Over break, said, "in writing." Now, I say, "in America."

People tell me I should go to grad school instead of working right away so I can be well-rounded. As if my four years of college didn't round me enough. I took two years of core curriculum before I could even start my major, and once I started it, I still had to take four classes outside of my discipline. If I become anymore well-rounded, I can find a cushy job as a meatball.

Career fairs are supposed to help you decide what you want to do. Except the only companies that came to my school's career fair are firms like Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley. "Have you ever thought about an exciting career in finance? No? Well, what about one in finance?"

Companies who fire veteran employees in order to hire cheaper recent college graduates are unscrupulous. They also don't return my calls.

Some people advise you against taking the first job that comes your way just to pay off your billions of dollars in student loans. They say that you should scrimp and save in a piddling position in your industry so that you can eventually end up where you really want. Like jail.

Like this column? Then buy the book!