People are hypocrites when it comes to laundry. One day, your friend will complain about the guy who left his laundry in the washer for 15 minutes, til your friend finally moved the clothes to a table and put his own wash in. Two weeks later, your same friend will complain about the gall someone had to move their stuff out of a washer when they were only 15 minutes late to retrieve it.

Everybody should have to sign their name when they walk into a college laundry room, just in case they decide that their time is more important than yours, and take it out on your laundry.

You know that one room in every dorm that is kept locked at all times? It's full of half pairs of socks, collected from your laundry by the desk attendant while you aren't looking. Eventually, enough students come through a dorm that pairs begin to form, and are sold on the street for at a 50% markup. How do you think he affords that stereo he's always listening to?

Are you one of the poor saps who refuses to invest $3.95 in a laundry basket? Instead, you try to carry two loads of clothes in your arms, drop two shirts and three pairs of boxers on the way to your room, and have to position the stack on one knee and one hand, pressed against the wall, while struggling to open your door with the hand that has to catch all the socks that are now hitting the floor. And you do this every two weeks.

You know that day where you finally get to the clothes you try to never wear? You walk to class in jeans with a rip in the left leg and a pizza sauce stain on the right, a paint-covered t-shirt from the community service project you were roped into during freshman year, and socks that are missing the heel and half the toes. And you do your laundry three days later.

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