Hey guys – next time you say "I really like you, but I can't handle a relationship," think of how dumb you sound. This is my loose translation: "You're too nice. I need a slut so when I cheat on her, she won't mind as much since she's doing the same thing."

How many guys have ever heard a hot girl complain that she can't get guys? That's not true – you can get guys, you just can't get NICE guys. You know why? Because instead of flirting with them, you spend all your time together talking about how you can't get guys.

Nine times out of ten, if a reasonably attractive girl were to approach a guy at a bar and say "will you walk me home," he will. Nine times out of ten, if a reasonably attractive guy were to approach a girl at a bar and say "will you walk me," he'll get ignored by the time he says "home."

You know what "I just want to be friends" really means? It means "I'm too much of a weenie to tell the truth." If any guy tells you this and actually calls you, hangs out with you, and confides in you like any other friend, let me know. They haven't awarded this year's Nobel Prizes yet, and I think he's a contender.

Guys and girls are both constantly out looking, yet they can never seem to find each other. You know why? Because no one ever admits what they really want. There should be a list of people who are looking for relationships, another for people looking for hookups, and a third for people who want something substantial, but will settle for drunken meaningless sex when it comes. Only with honesty can the youth of America truly find happiness.

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