I believe that every girl is entitled to bring some emotional baggage into a relationship. But no more than two carry-on items and they have to be small enough to stow under the seat in front of you. Girls no matter how important they are to you, guys do not look at your shoes. And even if we do, we do not know the difference between Jimmy Choos and Manalo Blahniks. And I hadn't even heard of those until I asked my girlfriend for the name of two kinds of women's shoes to complete that sentence. Do you know what a DUFF is? If you're a guy, you probably do. It's a Designated Ugly Fat Friend, that hot girls usually have to test how much a guy really likes them. The DUFF tries to intercept you, and the hot girl, however subconsciously, sees how you interact with her. But it's okay because guys have their own secret weapon: their buddy with a girlfriend who can distract the DUFF while you continue the conversation. We don't have a short nickname for him, but we usually call him "the guy that takes one for the team." Hey girls, you know what will make you stand out at a bar? Wear black pants, a solid color semi-low cut top, boots, and big hoop earrings. But here's a real tip we do not care what you are wearing, as long as we can convince ourselves you won't be wearing it for that much longer. Lets face it: guys are dumb and girls are crazy. Girls do irrational things for no apparent reason and then expect you to know why, and refuse to apologize for it. But even knowing and accepting that, I still do things that I know will set someone off. Why? Because I'm a guy, and guys are dumb. See how this works?Like this column? Then buy the book!