There's always one guy on every floor who panhandles. He goes from room to room, saying "dude, you got a quarter I could borrow for laundry?" By the end of the day, he's made $30 and sitting there in the lounge eating a whole pizza. Dining dollars have to be the worst things ever created. The school charges your parents $12 a meal for really crappy imitation pizza and a whole bunch of vegan food, when you could be spending $4 on an order of Lo-Mein and a coke. And everyone always has 50 meals left in the last week of the semester. Schools don't prohibit hotplates for safety, they do it so that you're forced to eat in the dining hall instead of spending 12 cents on a bowl of Top Ramen. Why do bums ask college students for money? Are these people really your target audience? "Excuse me, I know that you are wearing the same socks for eight days in a row to avoid the increasing cost of laundry, never have a steady girlfriend because picking up a girl at a bar and going back to your room is cheaper than a movie, and rely on your parents for a ride home after finals cause the train costs too much, but can you spare a dollar?" Do they realize that most of us shelve books for ten hours a week just so our $30,000 education costs $29,000? Look buddy, unless you have a swipe machine that takes dining dollars, I can't help you. Isn't it funny that bums say "G-d bless you," especially when you don't give them money? If they had it in with G-d, why would they bless the jackass who ignored them? Not to be selfish, but I'd be sitting there saying, "G-d, I know that I usually ask you to bless that guy in the Abercrombie hat with his mom's car keys, but could you find it in your heart to have me do something other than hold a paper cup all day? Bless me, dammit!" The only kind of money college students do ever have are $20 bills. Since ATMs only give out $20s, you end up going to dinner with five people and no one has change. One guy ends up covering it, and everyone says they'll pay him back as soon as they get change. Which never happens. Like this column? Then buy the book!