I love the guy who yells "party!" at the top of his lungs. Beer, dim lighting, a couple going at it in the corner – I could have sworn I was in class. Thanks for clearing that up.

People think that if they drink a lot at a party, they'll be cool, which is not always true. If you drink a lot and can hold it all, that's pretty cool. If you drink just enough to leave you passed out in your own puke, well, not as cool.

Parties are fun, but they're nothing compared to the next day, when five guys sit around and try to reconstruct all the stupid things their friends did the night before.

The best way to advertise a party is to tell 50 people that it's a small thing and they shouldn't tell too many people. Only 250 people will even hear about it. But every last one of them will show up.

Your school's level of parties is directly proportional to how good your teams are, and there's no good reason why. When ten guys are really good at basketball, everyone else just drinks, dances, and hooks up a lot more. Even during football season.

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