I get very annoyed if people try to bring me work when I'm procrastinating. Can't they see I'm busy? To some, procrastination is an art. To some, it's a hobby. To me, it's a religion. "Welcome to the Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Procrastination. Services will be held five minutes after I am done writing my sermon, and complimentary Jolt Cola will be served. Please take your seat in the back of the chapel, and make sure to leave an IOU in the collection plate." Once, I actually completed a paper two days before it was due. Of course, I thought I was handing it in five days late. I never postpone til tomorrow, what I can actually put off til next week. (And yes, that's a version of an old joke. But coming up with my own stuff would have meant working more.) The American Heritage dictionary definition of procrastination is "to put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness." The college definition procrastination is that you have five finals in the next two weeks, and you're actually reading this anyway. Like this column? Then buy the book!