Some RAs are awesome. Others make door decorations with your name written on the silhouette of a farm animal. Sophomore year, my RA was a guy I knew since I was 12. One night, I ran in to him in the bathroom, my eyes watery, my clothes smelling like smoke, and my breath reeking of alcohol and he was totally cool with it. Looking back, I think it was less because we were friends and more because he had already been puking for the last three hours. I know one guy who used to take condoms from our RA every day just to make people think he was having sex. When he moved out of his room, his closet looked like that kid's locker in the Pop Tarts commercial. Busting your residents when they're passed out drunk is like raising your hand to tell a professor that the kid next to you has fallen asleep in class. Just nudge the guy with your shoulder until he wakes up in both scenarios. If you think about it, schools set RAs up for failure. An RA is supposed to keep the floor substance free AND give thoughtful guidance at the same time. "I'm three weeks late for my period and I really need some advice. I know I'll go talk to the chick who spilled out my beer and turned me in for smoking pot. I feel like she really understands me." Like this column? Then buy the book!