Does your campus have computer registration yet? Mine doesn't. We're supposed to register by phone, but only after we use our bare feet to peddle our bronto-mobile over to the rock quarry. On the first day of one of my classes, the department chair read out a list of the first 18 people to sign up, and everyone else was told to leave. I spent the next hour in the hall arguing my way back into class, and the department chair finally told me that she'd have let me in, but I had already missed the first class, and therefore couldn't catch up on the work. Then she cackled heartily and retreated back to the cave of irony. My school lets you shop around for classes for two weeks, but you can only register for five during pre-registration. You spend the first week of school deciding exactly which classes you want, and the next week forgetting about them because they've been full since November. One professor wouldn't let me in his class because I missed the first day. Little did he know that I had originally planned on missing much more than that. What the hell is wrong with the teachers who try to teach on the first day? We're supposed to come in, you give us the syllabus, brag about what degrees you have, reminisce fondly about how you were and undergraduate 40 years ago, make us fill out an index card, and say good-bye. After a month of watching TV and sleeping til 3:00, that's really all my brain can handle.Like this column? Then buy the book!