"Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But it was also pretty funny."

2. "Disrupting class- claiming to be the reborn Jesus and hitting another student with a bible."

3. "Discussing girl's breass and wanting milk from them."

4. "Said that i got powned (which means owned) when a student showed me a pass for having a sweatshirt."