I went to the Starbucks on Columbus avenue and 72nd street the other day. You know, the one next to the Starbucks, and two doors down from the Starbucks. It being my first time in Starbucks, I asked for a small hot chocolate. The guy behind the counter said, "oh, you mean a tall." I said, "no, a small." He said, "tall is our smallest size." I said, "your company does not understand basic weights and measures." He said, "Next." After hearing my friend order a "Grande Latte," I decided I'd try ordering again. You should have seen the look on the clerk's face when I asked for "un poco chocolada." I think the worst thing about Starbucks is the people who think there's nothing wrong with Starbucks. Then again, these are the same people who can order a Mocha Frappaccino with a straight face. If you think coffee bars are annoying, a tea bar just opened a block off my campus. How pretentious is that? I want to go in there, just order "tea" and see what happens. "What's that? Be more specific? Sure. I'd like a small tea." Like this column? Then buy the book!