Everyone on campus is always looking for a better place to study. During the semester, there is ample space, but every nook of every building is taken up during finals week. Except for your teacher's office during office hours that's still empty. I'm going to rent myself out as a curve-straightener. For just $50, I'll find where the smartest three kids in your class study and continuously poke them in them the forehead until they can't remember a damn thing. You can tell if someone likes you if they make sure to study with just you before a big exam. Especially if you're dumb. The problem with studying is that your mind only has room for so much. And every time I learn something new about 18th century literature or biomedical engineering, I forget the important stuff like the perfect angle to tilt your glass while you pour. After I study, I feel like the guy in Flowers for Algernon. I know that I will have exactly 24 hours to be smart and then I'll forget everything and return to my normal life. Or at least I think that's what happened I haven't read it in a few days. Like this column? Then buy the book!