I'm amazed at the stupidity of college administration when it comes to alcohol. At a university-sponsored party, you need two IDs to drink, but they don't necessarily have to have the same name or face on them.

The kids who really drank in high school had fakes when they were 16 that said they were 21. So now they're a sophomore and their ID says they're 24, but the proctors at university sponsored parties don't realize that. Here's a tip – in the first few months of a year, maybe 30% of the campus is 21. Subtract a third of those because they're burnt out from partying since freshman year, and another third who never party at all. Anyone under 21 should be glad college proctors don't do math.

Colleges don't want you to drink in your room, and they say it's because of safety. They'd prefer you leave campus and get smashed at a bar, only to drive home and stumble across campus drunk, falling several times on the way and laughing about how funny it is that you're cut up and bruised, eventually trying to get past your guard and RA reeking of alcohol without them noticing, and crash in your bed. If you could drink in your room, then you could get smashed, and go to sleep. But safety first…

Dry campuses confuse me. Prohibition failed in the 20's, why try to revive it now? When a campus goes "dry," really what happens is one room on every floor becomes a speakeasy, with makeshift bootleggers sneaking alcohol in through their backpacks. The people who don't want to risk getting caught and being put on double secret probation go out to bars instead, where they can drink like crazy and then throw up when they get back to campus. So really dry campuses are a lot wetter than others.

Schools hold Greek organizations to a higher standard than other clubs on campus when it comes to alcohol. If someone gets really sick from alcohol and they're in a fraternity, every one of their brothers gets punished, even if the guy got sick half way across the world. Does this happen in any other campus organization? "A young man was rushed to the hospital after consuming five times the legal limit of alcohol. In response, the University has suspended the charter of his a cappella group, shut down the sixth floor of the freshman dorm, and barred anyone from becoming a bio major again."

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