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By Mike Trapp
Presidential Trading Cards Black POTUS Visual: Obama’s face in the middle of the black lotus. Text: Ignore previous four years to add an additional four-year term. James K. Polkemon Visual: Base on the design for Pikachu. Can we have a pikachu’ed version of James K. Polk? Text: Manifest Destiny Bond: If a player discovers new land during your opponent’s next turn, claim that land for yourself, as is your right. Confuse Ray: Flip a coin, if heads defending pokemon is now confused about who exactly James K. Polk is anyway. I mean I think he was a president? I think I remember this. Didn’t he do… something? Really? One of the most effective Presidentes? According to who? Huh… Weakness: (?) Resistance: (?) Blue Eisenhower Dwight Dragon Visual: Base on “Blue Eyes White Dragon” Yu-Gi-Oh! Card. Mix with Dwight D. Eisenhower Text: While this card is face-up, you may play an additional “Interstate Highway” card from your hand. Richard Moxen Visual: Base this on the design of the Mox Emerald, but instead of the weird monster face at the top, have Richard Nixon’s face. Text: Tapping Richard Moxen also taps Watergate Complex. Spearow Agnew Visual: Base design on the Spearow Pokemon card. Mix with Spiro Agnew Text: Vice Presidential Pokemon. 6’2” 225 lbs. Heckle: 10 Tax Evade: Flip a coin. If heads, player may draw an extra card. If tails, Spearow Agnew resigns in disgrace Weakness: ($) Bribery Resistance: (Peace Sign) Hippies Ulyssyber S. Dragrant Visual: Base on Cyber Dragon Yu-Gi-Oh! card Text: Must be special summoned with “Johnson Impeachment” and cannot be Special Summoned by other ways. It gains 300 ATK for each Southern type monster your opponent controls. Ancestral Recall Visual: Base on the design for Ancestral Recall, but maybe with the white house in the background and G.W. Bush in the front Text: Elect another Adams, Roosevelt, or Bush. Or force your opponent to elect another Adams, Roosevelt, or Bush. Snortaft Visual: Base design on Snorlax Pokemon card. Mix with William Howard Taft. Text: Fat Presidential Pokemon. 6’ 300 lbs. Lick: Immediately destroy any ice cream type pokemon. Dream Eater: Snortaft eats even dreams like a big, fat fatty. Belly Drum: Force Snortaft to slap his belly. It is hilarious. Flavor text – “I was a really good president. AND Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Why do people only talk about my weight” – a very fat president. Weakness: image of a burger Resistance: exercise (maybe a set of weights? A treadmill?) James Madgishson Visual: Base on “Dark Magician” Yu-Gi-Oh! Card Text: [Legislator] The ultimate legislator in terms of constitutional amendments.