Illustrated by Nathan Yaffe
By Mike Trapp
Presidential Trading Cards
Visual: Obama’s face in the middle of the black lotus.
Text: Ignore previous four years to add an additional four-year term.
James K. Polkemon
Visual: Base on the design for Pikachu. Can we have a pikachu’ed version of James K. Polk?
Manifest Destiny Bond: If a player discovers new land during your opponent’s next turn, claim that land for yourself, as is your right.
Confuse Ray: Flip a coin, if heads defending pokemon is now confused about who exactly James K. Polk is anyway. I mean I think he was a president? I think I remember this. Didn’t he do… something? Really? One of the most effective Presidentes? According to who? Huh…
Blue Eisenhower Dwight Dragon
Visual: Base on “Blue Eyes White Dragon” Yu-Gi-Oh! Card. Mix with Dwight D. Eisenhower
Text: While this card is face-up, you may play an additional “Interstate Highway” card from your hand.
Visual: Base this on the design of the Mox Emerald, but instead of the weird monster face at the top, have Richard Nixon’s face.
Text: Tapping Richard Moxen also taps Watergate Complex.
Visual: Base design on the Spearow Pokemon card. Mix with Spiro Agnew
Text: Vice Presidential Pokemon. 6’2” 225 lbs.
Tax Evade: Flip a coin. If heads, player may draw an extra card. If tails, Spearow Agnew resigns in disgrace
Weakness: ($) Bribery
Resistance: (Peace Sign) Hippies
Ulyssyber S. Dragrant
Visual: Base on Cyber Dragon Yu-Gi-Oh! card
Text: Must be special summoned with “Johnson Impeachment” and cannot be Special Summoned by other ways. It gains 300 ATK for each Southern type monster your opponent controls.
Visual: Base on the design for Ancestral Recall, but maybe with the white house in the background and G.W. Bush in the front
Text: Elect another Adams, Roosevelt, or Bush. Or force your opponent to elect another Adams, Roosevelt, or Bush.
Visual: Base design on Snorlax Pokemon card. Mix with William Howard Taft.
Text: Fat Presidential Pokemon. 6’ 300 lbs.
Lick: Immediately destroy any ice cream type pokemon.
Dream Eater: Snortaft eats even dreams like a big, fat fatty.
Belly Drum: Force Snortaft to slap his belly. It is hilarious.
Flavor text – “I was a really good president. AND Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Why do people only talk about my weight” – a very fat president.
Weakness: image of a burger
Resistance: exercise (maybe a set of weights? A treadmill?)
Visual: Base on “Dark Magician” Yu-Gi-Oh! Card
Text: [Legislator] The ultimate legislator in terms of constitutional amendments.