Dear Diary Its Me Newt Gingrich - Image 1
Dear Diary,
Me again. ugh too much to talk about so i'm going to just dive right in. k? k.
First things first: OK who died and made mitt romney king?? it's like… ok, what? am i the only one who doesn't see how fricking DUM THIS IS i have SO much leadership/gov't experience i am SO charming i am SO cute and good looking and i want to put real life buildings on the moon and also make kids scrub toilets and stuff. HELLO?!! i mean… LAST I CHECKED those were PRETTY GREAT THINGS AND IDEAS. and uh… oh that's right, YA they still are!!!!!!!!!!

i go to these speeches and conferences and other bullsh*t – I KNOW, I KNOW, diary, i keep breaking my promise not to swear in my entries anymore, but SUE ME ya dumb f*cking book ;) – but like… mitt's the star all of the sudden? everyone's like "mitt! mitt! i have a question! i have a question!" and i'm standing there like "….hello?! wtf?" i dont actually say that but u know what i mean.

one of these days im actually going to say something really mean to him and he just like wont know what to do and i'll walk away like "yeah thats right u just messed with the next president" and he'll believe it and so will everyone else. and then ann will come crawling and apologize to me for being so mean and b*tchy and i'll be like "umm… apology not accepted SORRY also i have no idea who u r so please get out of my face" and she'll be like WHAT and then i'll leave and bomb the sh*t out of iran or something just cuz i can. god i cant wait to be pres, diary u have no idea :-)

the good thing is im only like 4 mil in debt which is not that bad compared to the nat. deficit so i think im all good. is it weird that i blast "hail to the chief" on my ipod speakers when i write these? lol

luv u b*tch,