Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Dear Diary, It's Me, Newt Gingrich
April 24, 2012
Me again. ugh too much to talk about so i'm going to just dive right in. k? k.
First things first: OK who died and made mitt romney king?
? it's like ok, what? am i the only one who doesn't see how fricking
i have SO much leadership/gov't experience i am SO charming i am SO cute and good looking and i want to put real life buildings on the moon and also make kids scrub toilets and stuff.
?!! i mean
. and uh oh that's right, YA they still are!!!!!!!!!!
i go to these speeches and conferences and other bullsh*t I
, diary, i keep breaking my promise not to swear in my entries anymore, but
ME ya dumb f*cking book ;) but like mitt's the star all of the sudden? everyone's like "mitt! mitt! i have a question! i have a question!" and i'm standing there like " .hello?! wtf?" i dont actually say that but u know what i mean.
one of these days im actually going to say something really mean to him and he just like wont know what to do and i'll walk away like "yeah thats right u just messed with the next president" and he'll believe it and so will everyone else. and then ann will come crawling and apologize to me for being so mean and b*tchy and i'll be like "umm apology not accepted
also i have no idea who u r so please get out of my face" and she'll be like
and then i'll leave and bomb the sh*t out of iran or something just cuz i can. god i cant wait to be pres, diary u have no idea :-)
the good thing is im only like 4 mil in debt which is not that bad compared to the nat. deficit so i think im all good. is it weird that i blast "hail to the chief" on my ipod speakers when i write these? lol
luv u b*tch,
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