-What's with all the boobs on this page? I mean, I'm not complaining, I like the sight of a pair of mamm-tastic breasts as much as any guy, but it seems we have a lot of exhibitionists here. And thank god for that too, you don't know how many of my mornings have been lightened by browsing the pictures section of collegehumor and seeing some lovely coed cans before my morning astronomy class. But here is where it gets serious.

-Let me tell you about my cousin Nate. He is a few years older than me and was a big influence on me when I was young. He was always the funniest one in the family and I wanted to be like him so bad, which may have been why I developed a sense of humor (or it could have been because I was fat and it was a defense mechanism, as my shrink says" but that is neither here nor there). Nate is now in the very unfunny business of being an army ranger. He just got out of ranger school in southern Georgia and it sounded like hell. And what's the reward for drudging through swamps for weeks at a time? Going to war!

-Now, I don't agree with the war but I put my full support behind him for having the nut (as I certainly do not) to step up and defend us. Me, I'd just slowly inch my way over the Canadian border while whistling and looking around with my hands in my pockets. I won't get to see Nate before he goes overseas, but I wanted to give him something special to let him know that I'm thinking about him. Now, here is where the boobs come in.

-Picture my poor cousin sitting in a tent in the desert, all alone, without any friends or family to talk to. Now picture how happy he would be when an envelope showed up with my name on it. Now picture even how much more happy he would be if, instead of a letter from me, it was a card with a bunch of boobs on it thanking him. He'd be so happy, he might even discharge his weapon right on the spot!

-So, here is what I ask of you. Send me a picture of your boobs with the words "Thanks Nate" written on them to boobtroop@hotmail.com. I will then compile these pictures, with the aid of my Microsoft Paint program, into a card to send to him overseas. Let's face it, soldiers don't want love letters, they want boobs and I want to help my cousin out and so should you. You don't hate America, do you?

-Now, I'm not a pervert and I have seen enough boobs in my day (I just look in the mirror) not to really care about them that much. And, to prove that I won't just be keeping these pictures on my computer to pleasure myself to, when the card is finished I will email back a copy of it to all of you who sent in pictures. How fun is that! Maybe, when he gets the card, he'll even take a picture of him with it and send that back to me? Who knows"

-So, send away and support my cousin. boobtroop@hotmail.com


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