-Do you smell that? No, seriously, it fucking stinks in here! What is that? Oh, what are you cooking in there? Hate? I'll have some, please. That's right folks, it's time for another edition of the famous Hate List. This edition sees entries from all over America, proving once again, that we all hate, from coast to coast, from Mexico to Maine, from Waffle House to Ihop, the same way. Let's let that hate flow now.

-MINE:
-I'm So Stressed: There are some people, God save them, that think they are going through a different experience than everyone else at their school. They act like when they have midterms and finals, no one else does. "Oh my God, I have so much work to do, you don't even know." Really? Because last time I checked, I go to the same school as you and have just as much work as you. Stop playing the crying game, you dumb shit, everyone is going through the same shit as you are, so stop your bitching, get another cookie, and cry to yourself, you pitiful piece of shit" I Hate You!


-(Can't think of an endearing name): If there is one thing in the world that angers me more than genocide, it's people who don't hurry up when you hold the door for them. I have taken valuable seconds out of my time to hold the door for you so you may obtain easier entry into this building. But do you hurry up when I am standing there with my thumb up my ass holding the door open for you? No" no, you don't. I'm not asking for a full out sprint or even a jog. All I want is a quick little two-step to show me that my efforts are appreciated and that you are aware that holding a door is not my favorite thing to do in the world. "Hmmm, I wonder what I should do today? I know, I'll stand here in front of this building and hold this door open. I hope nobody hurries up to get in because that would ruin this awesome time!" Get some goddamned class, you piece of shit" I Hate You!

-Mr. iPod: Was 5000 songs not good enough for you? Hmmm? No, it wasn't, was it? So you went out and bought the new iPod that holds more songs. Do you even have 5000 songs on your playlist? I bet you don't. You probably bought it because this one comes in colors. And do you wear your new iPod hidden away from the world? No, you don't" You display your gadget where everyone can see it and go "oooohhh, ahhhhh." God, you're awesome! How genius of you to buy this product that is almost exactly the same as the old model" but in BLUE!!!! I'm going to do the same thing with my microwave! From all of us out here with plain old CD players, go to hell you trendy shitheads" I Hate You!

YOURS:

-Reader Mike D. (not the Beastie Boy) really hates: The guy who feels it is his duty to inform everyone that someone used the toilet and didn't wash their hands. Now in the dorm I live at washing your hands is just a matter of personal safety. But this assclown feels it necessary to announce to the whole hall by knocking on all the doors and getting people out there to say so and so didn't wash their hands. I have also seen this douche watch someone go into the bathroom, watch them come out, go into the bathroom, and check if the sink was wet, the towel dispenser was wet, or if soap had been used. You are a douche" I hate you!

-Reader Chris B. really hates: The Early Packer: This is the kid that I guess has some place to go right after class and can't spare a second. So, to save about 4 fucking seconds they start to put all there books n shit in there bags about 10 minutes before class is actually over. So, me and the other douches in the class that are actually trying to hear when this 15 page paper is due and what format it needs to be in can't hear the professor over the sounds of crumpling paper and the long pop of the zipper. and oh yea, hey asshole it doesn't make the zipper sound any less loud when you try to pull the zipper real slow one hook at a time" I hate you!

-Reader Frank really hates: People who ruin the obscurity of obscure movies by ordering every shirt available off of 80s tee shirt retailers and wearing them around even though they're clearly too young to remember Thundercats. Thanks a lot, jerks, now he has to pretend he's not one of you. Let me revel in my obscure pop-culture knowledge and stop stealing my thunder(cats)" .I Hate You!

-Reader JB really hates: People who make stereotypes. Some stereotypes are ok. All fat people breathe heavy and all goth people want to kill themselves, that's just the truth. But the one thing I hate the most is people who hate Texans just because they are from Texas. Ok, first of all, I am from Texas. I don't wear a cowboy hat, I don't ride horses (they smell like crap), and I don't talk slow with a southern accent. I live in a city and I don't call my parents ma and pa. I didn't grow up on a farm, I am in the process of getting an education and I'm not a racist piece of shit. There are people in your state that are stupid, annoying and fucked up too, they're all over the fucking place, not just in Texas, you dumb sin of a bitch" I Hate You!

-Reader Heather R/ really hates: The person who always has a better way of doing things, even though they have no idea what the hell they're talking about. Say if you have a flat tire, and you have the tire iron all ready to go, this ass walks by and says something like " I would have driven around the potholes." That's nice you fuck. I wonder why I didn't think of that? Of course, I should have remembered that the invisible pothole I just ran over would have popped my tire! You're so smart! Why don't you help me, you pompous fuck? Maybe next time I find you bloody and beaten outside of a bar I'll say "I wouldn't have thrown a drink in the bouncer's face." I Hate You!


-Finally, Reader Katie J. really hates: people over the age of 12 that are wearing those fucking L.L. Bean backpacks with their initials embroidered on them. I mean is it really necessary for you to look at your backpack to see what your initials are? Or is it so no one steals your backpack? -because I'm pretty sure you don't just leave it in the classroom, or throw it in a giant pile when u walk in, so what is the fucking point?! Grow up! I HATE YOU

-That's all the hate for today, if you have something you hate and want to let the world know, email me at suxatlife@hotmail.com and we'll see what happens. Keep that hate coming. This has been another edition of The Hate List.