10 Things Newt Gingrich Has Time to Do Now That He's Quit - Image 1

1. Apply to be a counselor at space camp again.

2. Tone up that Newt-tastic six pack hiding beneath his doughy baby fat.

3. Start his own new VH1 Dating Show, "Newt of Love."

4. Giggle and roll around with cuddly animals all day forever and ever.

5. Write, fund, direct, and star in "Newt", a biopic about himself.

6. Dress up in his authentic Napoleon costume and strut around his house everyday in peace finally.

7. Look into that whole "child labor" thing, realize it maybe isn't all like "Annie."

8. Make kids cry at the really intense readings of his new children's book about how the world isn't fair and sometimes the most qualified people don't become president even though they're clearly the best person in America.

9. Marry for love.

10. Challenge himself to a series of seven three-hour Lincoln-Douglas style debates inside the fort he built in his living room, win each one, go to sleep smiling.