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Say "goodbye" to scantrons and, unless you're a gutless crossword puzzler, you can dump the pencils too. This has been mentioned before, but it's worth repeating because it's obvious that you're not getting it: after you leave college, the only things you ever have to write by hand are checks and tax forms. And you have to do those in pen. Go ahead and throw out those three mechanical pencils at the bottom of your bag. All of the graphite in them is broken anyway.

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If you have a remotely successful college experience, chances are that by the time you reach senior year, you have at least one ex that you desperately want to avoid. But you're in college and there are exactly three places to hang out, so you run into that person every goddamn weekend. Once you graduate, however, the rest of the world reopens and you can avoid any ex-hookup, friend, or relative forever.

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The worst thing about college isn't the work, or the debt, or the easy spread of communicable disease; it's frisbees. Fucking frisbees. Anyone who is good enough at throwing a frisbee that it actually reaches its intended recipient, probably plays a real sport instead of throwing a stupid frisbee in the middle of a crowded quad. Unfortunately, college is a time for self-discovery and confidence, so you've spent four years dodging discs of plastic and requests for you to "toss it back." Good news: the reign of frisbees is over. Once you leave campus, you can go back to walking down the street without paying any attention to your surroundings. You're safe.

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To acquire almost any kind of college degree, you are forced to take classes that you're bad at and that don't interest you. After graduation, you can stop doing that. It's not that you won't be forced to do stuff you hate. You'll mostly do stuff you hate. But you'll no longer have to do stuff you hate because someone is trying to make you a better/smarter/more financially viable person*. You can just do stuff for money or because there's a chance it will make you more attractive.

*The exception to this rule is if you date someone who wants to improve you. If someone tries to take you on a date to a museum that doesn't have dinosaur bones, get out of there.

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A capella is a form of music that exists solely in college student centers and the basements of religious institutions. When you leave college, you can also leave those places and never, ever return. More than just not having to hear a capella music anymore, you won't have to hear anyone talk about their a capella group's upcoming showcase/recital/guerilla attack unless you engage your nerdy co-worker, Jeremy, in a conversation about music. That's your fault then. You should really know better by now. You're a college graduate.