MTV Offices, New York City
RE: Road Rules Mega-Extreme, Spring 2005 season.
Official Proposals Meeting Transcript
Mary Ellis Bunin (producer, creator)
"Ok folks, last season's road rules really challenged the contestants in ways they never expected. It was our highest rated version of the series yet. I see these figures and one thing is very clear" the viewers like watching the cast overcome challenges. So, for Road Rules Mega-Extreme I think we should push the envelope even more. Any ideas?"
Randy Conrad (production assistant)
"Well Mary, research shows that viewers do not like seeing the cast get voted off. But we still want to present some sort of punishment for losing challenges, right? So, how about this" if your team loses more than three challenges, not only do you not get the mega-key, you have to nominate one of your teammates to get shot by Dan Cortez. I figure we let them decide where to get shot. The kids these days love guns, I'm sure this would draw a ton of viewers in."
"I like it, Randy. I really think the shooting is a totally great punishment. Oh, and I love the Dan Cortez angle. People love seeing b-list celebrities on reality shows" I mean, you've seen The Surreal Life, right? Ok, so we'll do the shooting thing. I think we should use maybe a 9mm or a .38 special" something with a small caliber. Let's not forget, they still have to compete after getting shot so we don't want to rip too big a hole in their flesh. Any other ideas on how we could make this season even more extreme?"
Sally Robertson (casting)
"Yeah Mary, I have something. We all know viewers like the sexy element of the show. People want to see the cast-mates hookup. So why not just force the cast to have sex with each other? We can make it one of the challenges, ya know? We'll be like "'you need to have sex with four cast mates in 5 minutes or you fail the challenge' or something like that. How's that?"
"Oohhh, I like it. That's genius. But I think there may be some trouble finding a girl that slutty. Oh, you know what, give the real World people a call and see if Trishelle is doing anything in October. Great, we're really getting some great stuff here. Who else has an idea?"
Tommy Canton (intern)
"Why don't we, like, get them to, like, eat poop and shit?"
"Tommy, go get some coffee for everyone" great."
Randall McPhearson (asst. director)
"You know, last season I was thinking this show is missing something and now I realize what that was. Remember the episode where they had to eat all that disgusting stuff? Well, everyone really liked that one but I don't think it was mega-extreme enough. How about this" ready" they have to eat a PERSON! Cannibalism is a hot topic this season and I think we better ride that wave. I say we pay some peasant's family to give up a kid or something. Of course, they would have to be fully cooked. Here's the catch" we don't tell them the thing they just ate was a person until AFTER THEY EAT HIM!"
"perfect" .PERFECT! That is just the angle we need here. I love it" no, I NEED it! Randall, this is why you've come so far in this business; you're always one step ahead of the game. Ok, so we've got the gun wounds, the forced sex and the cannibalism" this is good but we need one more thing to make this truly mega-extreme" c'mon people, this is what we do."
Carol Silverstein (Editor)
"I might have something here. Picture this" the cast goes through a whole season of challenges, they get to know and love each other, they collect their winnings and they get on a plane to go home. But, and here's the final twist, their plane crashes on the way home on a desert island. Of course, we'll have to island completely covered in hidden cameras and microphones. Then we tape them for the next 6 months as they try to survive on this island. Hopefully they'll all live through the crash. That right there is a whole other season" we get two seasons for the price of one! Whatcha think?"
"What do I think? I think we've got ourselves an Emmy is what I think! People, this is going to be the greatest season of Road Rules yet. I want to thank you all for your great ideas. So, let's just find a good island for this and try to get Trishelle on board for the sex challenge. Oh, I think we should have two black people on this one" actually, nah, let's just stick to one" It's fun watching them try to relate to all the white, preppy college kids."
*It was recently brought to my attention that Mary Ellis Bunin passed away from cancer. I was not aware of this at the time I wrote this article. I hope this does not offend anyone as it was not intended to. I also hope you, nor I, do not die as well. Thank You, Streeter J. Seidell.